


Monster

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Character Death, F/F, F/M, M/M, Original Character(s), Red String of Fate, The Pocky Game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:47:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wanted to fit in but at the same time you’re too scared to try? I have and I am. Mikasa doesn’t understand. She fits in with every crowd. Jocks, goths, preps, nerds, geeks...everyone, even outside of school she fits in. I don’t fit anywhere. I’m just here, existing on this planet. Sure I have a few friends but who introduced me to them? Mikasa. The only person in that group that actually likes me is Armin, but I’ve known him since birth. I’m coal in a field of diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires. </p><p>	Mikasa tells me that I have to try and challenge myself and go outside my comfort zone. But it scares me. I take comfort in the four walls I choose to exist in and I refuse to leave them. I can’t leave them. But that changed the day I met him…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Met Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for trying out my new fanfiction! My Tumblr is: attackonsarah

_Have you ever wanted to fit in but at the same time you’re too scared to try? I have and I am. Mikasa doesn’t understand. She fits in with every crowd. Jocks, goths, preps, nerds, geeks...everyone, even outside of school she fits in. I don’t fit anywhere. I’m just here, existing on this planet. Sure I have a few friends but who introduced me to them? Mikasa. The only person in that group that actually likes me is Armin, but I’ve known him since birth. I’m coal in a field of diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires._

_Mikasa tells me that I have to try and challenge myself and go outside my comfort zone. But it scares me. I take comfort in the four walls I choose to exist in and I refuse to leave them. I can’t leave them. But that changed the day I met him…_

* * *

“Eren, wake up! You’re going to be late, again!”

I groaned and rolled out from the sweet warmth and safety of my bed. If I had it my way I’d never leave my bed. And I do mean never.

“Eren!” Mikasa yelled from the bottom steps, “You’re going to miss the bus and you can’t afford to be late again.”

“I’m up. Just give me a minute.” I grumble and wade my way to the dresser. My room, for lack of better explanation, was a pig sty. Trash, laundry, overdue homework, old food, and probably something dead under the oceanic landfill. Being clean was not my style whatsoever, unlike Mikasa who dusted and vacuumed at least once a week. My family was lucky to get once a year out of me.

Once I was at my dark wood dresser I grabbed my typical outfit: black skinny jeans, green jacket, and a t-shirt of some kind. Today’s choice was Nirvana. Not really my favorite but I went through a phase when I was 14 that was all I listened too. I lived and breathed that shit. Now I could honestly care less.

After changing and quickly brushing my teeth, I don’t even bother with my hair, I look in the mirror. Looking back at me was 16 year-old Eren Jaeger. With my messy chestnut hair, large round teal eyes, long eyelashes, and a slightly round face. Oh, and let us not forget the bags under my eyes from lack of proper sleep, don’t worry they’re Gucci. They derived from my unhealthy internet addiction.

“I swear to fucking god Eren, if you’re not down here in thirty seconds I will drag you down!”

I sighed and walked out the bathroom, sliding on my black Vans and grabbing my worn down backpack. “I’m coming.” I run down the stairs, looking at Mikasa when I hit the bottom. “Present.”

She simply rolled her small dark brown eyes. “You got lucky bro. Come on.” She grabbed her own bag and walked out the door, me in tow like a duckling following its mother. Mikasa was a month older than me but acted years beyond my age, and looked like it too. She is also my adoptive sister, which is kinda obvious since we look nothing alike. She was part Asian so she had a more “oriental” look. With her narrow dark brown, almost black, eyes, chin length straight black hair, and narrow face. She was about an inch shorter than me but was definitely more fit and strong than I am. I’m tall, skinny, and long while she is also tall but more muscular. Understandable since she was the Shingashina High’s top athlete, the city’s top athlete, and number two in the state. She had a series of athletic, as well as intellectual, scholarships waiting for her when she graduated next year. Mikasa’s talents make me seem more like the adopted one. My father was a world renowned doctor and my mother a professional dancer who ran her own studio. Yup, Mikasa Ackerman was more like the child of Grisha and Carla Jaeger than Eren was.

My family adopted Mikasa after her parents died in a brutal car accident, when she was only 8, leaving her the only survivor. And since my father and mother were great friends of the Ackerman’s we adopted her. Since she stepped foot in our house and saw me she made it her duty to protect me and drag me out of situations I put myself in. I don’t know why she’s so protective over me. My dad says it’s her way coping with the death of her parents. That since she couldn’t protect them she will protect me instead

“You wouldn’t really pull me down by my hair.” I rolled my eyes, stopping at the stop sign where the bus came. The only other person at this stop was Sasha Blous. This auburn, brown-eyes bombshell loved food way too much. A definite glutton.

 

“That’s what you think.” Mikasa pulled her red scarf over her mouth, “Hey Sasha.”

“Hey guys! Guess what? Apparently there is a new kid at school and he rides our bus. Connie just texted me about it.”

New kid? That was a rarity at this school. It was very hard to get into Shingashina unless you’ve lived here your whole life like everybody at the school did. This was a school outsiders had to apply for to get in, and Shingashina wasn’t very welcome to new appearances. Whoever it was must be ultra intelligent, since that’s the only true way to get in. That or being athletic or artistically gifted, all of which I am not.

“Really? Who?” Mikasa asked, slightly curious from the tone in her voice. The last time we had a new student she cracked under pressure and transferred.

“He didn’t tell me. Said that he was super quiet and kinda intimidating. But apparently he’s a Junior like us!”

“Great.”

That’s when the big yellow beast rolled up. I hated the bus. It was always overcrowded and sometimes we have four to a seat when we’re only supposed to have two. Our bus driver was actually really cool though. He didn’t care about anything we did as long as there was no fighting. His name was Mr. Jones, my best bus friend.

The three of us slowly made our way down the narrow aisle, teens all around us yelling and cursing at each other. Very colorful people on my bus. Especially when the more immature guys start the “penis game”. Just wonderful.

Sasha of course slipped in next to Connie, her boyfriend. Normally Mikasa and I would sit together but she was pulled in next to Krista. She quickly mouthed ‘sorry’ to me. If it was anyone else Mikasa would’ve left them but we don’t do that to Krista, not unless you wanted her girlfriend Ymir on your case. So I kept on walking until I saw one available seat. Some guy was sitting by himself in the very back. I wonder why no one is with him. So naturally being the loner I am I sit next to another loner. Biggest mistake of my life.

“Go the fuck away.” Well then.

“Excuse me?” I faced him, slightly pissed off. I was just coming to join him to make him look like a loser.

The unknown teen turned and faced me, freezing me to the bone with his glare. His cold, steel-grey eyes have a murderous intent in them and so did the rest of his face, but in an almost beautiful kind of way. Ink black hair in the style of an undercut that was parted exactly down the middle and way slightly in his eyes. His eyebrows were sharp and defined, giving him a natural glare and look of annoyance, even boredom. His face was also sharp but his nose was small. And his lips were also small but full-looking and were tinged a slight pink. His skin was so pale that when the sunlight came through the window he was almost a pale blue or translucent. His appearance was almost porcelain doll like.

“I said go the fuck away. Are you deaf brat?” He didn’t look pissed off, more so just super annoyed. His voice was bored sounding, almost monotone.

“I’m not deaf. There are no more seats and you had no one next to you.” My voice had an irritated edge to it now. “Who are you anyway?”

“Someone who is not interested in your stupid, shit-for-brains ass. Now leave.”

It suddenly hit me. This is the new kid.

“Are you the new guy?” I asked curiously, my irritated tone gone and replaced by curiosity.

“You’re really fucking dense in the head aren’t you? Can you not follow my simple damn request? Leave.”

“No.” I stated simply, smiling at him. “I’m not leaving until I get your name.”

The annoyance grew on his face as the bus pulled into the parking lot, opening the doors. Kids started filing off but I stayed seated, blocking his way when he tried to leave. “Your name.” His face then changed. Now he was smirking at me. He leaned down next to my ear.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, you damn brat.” He stood back up and left, leaving me speechless and red as a tomato. I quickly ran off the bus but saw he was gone, me being the only one in the bus parking lot. I checked my phone and saw I only had two minutes to get to first period. “Shit!”

I ran across campus and to the Junior building in front of the student parking. When I entered the hallway was empty, all the students already in class. I dashed down to the end of the hallway and into my Psychology II class. As soon as I entered the bell rang, making me not late. Victory for Jaeger. I walked quickly to the back of the classroom and took my usual seat. I usually have at least one person I know in every class but no one was in my Psychology class with me. All my other friends were in AP Psychology, of which I’m not smart enough to even step foot in the room. This was a small class, only fifteen kids, if you count me also and most of it were either Sophomores who really wanted to be here or Seniors who just needed an elective to fill their schedule. At Shingashina Seniors can’t go home early if they don’t need to take many classes, which means they pick random ones and just roll with it. Those are usually the smart kids. Same as for the Sophomores, only the smart ones take Psychology II. Overachievers.

The only reason I’m in here is because Armin conned me into it. Saying “It will be fun Eren!”. He was kinda right. I mean learning about human behavior and such can be really cool, but the work sucks. A bunch of papers, textbook reading, and things similar. Although case studies are cool and the movies we watch can be interesting.

“Okay class. Turn to chapter 24 and continue to outline the chapter.” I pull out my notebook and grab a textbook, flipping to where I left off. This is also the one class that I actually have an A in. As much as I hate the work, the actually reading is really cool and motivates me to do the work and everything. This class is magic!

* * *

The rest of the day drags really slowly up until lunch, per usual. I haven’t seen a sign of the new guy at all since the bus. He intrigued me. How did a guy like him get into my school? He seemed antisocial and cold, but I was oddly addicted. I wanted to see him again and maybe lunch will be the place to do.

I walked into the cafeteria and was met with the loud roar of its patrons. I hated lunch too. But only because it was so damn loud. I looked around and spotted my group of friends, sprinting over to them and taking my seat next to Mikasa. Our usual group of friends  was Armin Arlet, who I’ve known since birth and Mikasa since she was adopted, Jean Kirstein, who I just call asshole or horseface, Connie Springer, he’s special, Sasha Blous, she eats too much, Krista Lenz, who’s real name was Historia Reiss but hated it, Marco Bodt, who asshole is totally gay for, Ymir, we don’t know her last name, Reiner Braun, gay number one, Bertolt Hoover, gay number two, and Annie Leonhart, who hates everyone except the gay duo.

The people who sat at the table next to us are an odd bunch but the most popular students in the school: Erwin Smith, a really nice guy who is pretty focused, Hanji Zoe, she is batshit crazy and loves science, Mike Zacharius, he smells people and it’s probably some weird fetish, Olou Bozado, he bites his tongue when he talks too much, and Petra Ral, super nice and takes care of everyone. I’ve talked to them a few times and they’re nice people but can freak me out. Our groups don’t associate because I’m in one of them.

I’m like a strain of the black plague to these people of Shingashina. They avoid me all cost as if afraid I’ll give them herpes by just look, and I’m serious on that. It wasn’t always like that. I used to have tons of friends and was a straight A student but that ended at the end of 8th grade. Puberty wasn’t kind to me and hit me a large case of anger issues that pretty much drove everyone away. After that I no longer fit in because they were afraid I’d blow a gasket and beat them up, which isn’t true. I’m actually really nice to everyone I come in contact with but all they see when they look at me is that day.

“That Day” was at the end of 8th grade and I beat the absolute shit out of Jean for just pushing me out of his way. Now in my defense his stupid horseface is enough to ensue anger into me but on that day I just found out my mom was in a car accident and I didn’t even know her condition. She was fine but my hormone filled mind didn’t know that. Long story short my mom wasn’t the only one in the hospital that day.

“Eren! I have to tell you about the new kid,” Armin chirped up.“He’s in all my AP classes and honors. His name is some French name but he is called Levi. I forgot his last name-”

“Heichou.” Krista interjected. “And his name in Rivaille.” She smiled brightly, Ymir wrapping her arm around the small blonde girl’s shoulders. They’re dating, much to all the boys in the school’s dismay.

I nodded and hummed. “Black undercut, gray eyes?” The whole table nodded in agreement.

“Did you meet him?” Jean asked.

“Yeah, on the bus this morning-”

“The bus?!” Connie burst out. “He let you sit by him? Because every time a kid tried to sit next to him he gave them this icy glare and told them to “fuck off” in a very rude manner.”

“He told me to leave too, but I stayed anyway.” I shrugged casually. “But he wouldn’t tell me his name. So now I know.” The memory of what he did on the bus this morning came flooding back to me and I could feel a blush trying to creep up, but luckily I kept it at bay.

“Well he’s an asshole. You don’t need to be anywhere near him.” Mikasa handed me an apple. “Eat.” She set it in my hand.

I casually tossed the apple around in my hands. “He’s not that bad. Just has an attitude problem but I can’t judge.” I set the apple down. “And I’m not hungry.”

Mikasa picked it back up and put it back in my hands, a stern look in her eyes. “Eat.” I dropped the apple on Sasha’s plate. “I’m good.” Sasha immediately started eating it as she had some kind of conversation with Connie about Algebra 2 homework.

This was a daily battle. Me refusing to eat and no, I’m not anorexic. I have this medical condition when my stomach and brain aren’t linked together so I don’t ever know if I’m hungry and when I actually eat I’m like Sasha. That’s why it’s just easier for me to eat at home where my dad can portion control me better.

“Eren!” Mikasa snapped loudly at me, causing our table and the one next to it to go silent. Here we go again.

“Mikasa you know I can’t-”

“I don’t care! You’ll kill yourself.”

I stood up calmly and picked up my bookbag, quickly exiting the cafeteria. I wasn’t in the mood for this argument. Mikasa is always so concerned that I’ll starve to death. I won't, I really won’t but no one, not even our dad the damn doctor can convince her that I’m fine.

I went out behind the gym which is the farthest from the school. This is my “safe place” that I go to whenever I’m about to explode or I just need to be alone. Right now it’s a little of both. As I approach the back of the gym I notice a strong smell of cigarettes. Probably just a staff member or something. I peek my head around the wall and am surprised by what I see.

Levi leaning against the brick wall, bookbag on the ground and smoking a cigarette.

“Hey,” I walk around to him. “You shouldn’t do that. You could be expelled if you get caught.” Shingashina had strict tobacco rules and any student caught with it will be expelled. I also just then saw how short he was. Maybe at most five-foot-three, giving me a good four inches on him. But his short height didn’t take away his intimidating aura.

“Does it look like I give a shit? Cette école a un tas de personnel connard de toute façon.” He mumbled the last part, leaving me confused.

“What?”

Levi smirked and dropped the cigarette, smashing it under his foot and faced him. “Bonjour, mon nom est Rivaille. Je trouve votre manque d'éducation français amusant. Faites-vous attention en classe?”

“Uh…” I cocked my head. “Come again?”

“You are such a dumbass. Do you know French of any kind?”

I shook my head. “I take German here.” I smiled. “You sound pretty damn fluent. How long have you known the language?”

“Why do you care?” He scowled and picked up his bookbag. “Mine your own damn business.” He started walking to the cafeteria and I followed closely behind.

“Well, I think it’s cool.” I had to keep up an almost jogging pace to stay next to him. For having short legs he sure is fast and has a long stride.

“Brat, I don’t care.”

“My name isn’t brat. It’s Eren.”

“I don’t care.” He walked into the cafeteria. slowing down so that I could walk beside him. “I don’t need to know your damn name.” I noticed we were nearing my friends and the “popular kids”.

“Well you could at least-”

“LEVI!” A loud shrill of his name was heard and there was a blur of glasses and brunette ponytail before Levi was encased in Hanji’s arms. “This is amazing!” She then noticed me. “And you’ve met my little teal-eyed titan, Eren!” She threw her arms around me too. Hanji for some reason always liked me.

“Shitty four-eyes let me go!” He growled at her, sounding almost animalistic. “Putain de merde imbécile quatre yeux fou cul de salope!” Hanji laughed. “Stop cursing me out in French. It’s not flattering at all.” She let go of us and dragged us to her table, my friends staring at what they just saw.

“So you two know each other?” Hanji nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yes! I’ve known him since he came to America.” This earned a glare from Levi.

“Came here? From where?”

“None of your damn business brat, but I think you can figure it out.”

He had a point. Levi was nine times out of ten from France, you can even hear a slight accent when he talk and hear it fully when he spoke the language. It was quite beautiful when he spoke. His voice was so smooth and effortless, like he was confident in whatever he said. And when he spoke French it was pure poetry. But I only have two questions: Why is he in America? and When did he get here?


	2. Chapter 2: Slight Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter but you learn some information, so yay! Anyway I hope you enjoy chapter 2
> 
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com

“Oi brat!”

I snapped out my thoughts and turned to the voice of Levi. “Sorry, what?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes, pointing to the seat next to him. “Are you going to sit or stand there looking like a fucking lost puppy?” Oh right! I was in the cafeteria. And I was being invited to sit with the popular kids by the new guy?

“You want me to sit with you? Like next to you?” I was royally confused. I’ve never been invited to sit with anyone before.

“You’re dumber than I thought,” He stood up and pushed me into the seat. “Read my lips: sit next to me.”

Mikasa then showed up. “Eren, what are you doing here?” She glared at Levi. “And with him? Is he bothering you?”

“Mikasa I’m fine. Stop being a helicopter sister.” I mumbled standing up, only to have Levi push me back down.

“I was telling the brat that he was going to sit with me.” By this time my friends and Hanji’s friends were staring at the scene. Everyone knew how protective Mikasa was and it seemed Levi also got the drift. So why wasn’t he backing down?

“Eren is not a brat and he’s not sitting with you cranky midget ass.”

There was a deadly silence. The tension in the air was palpable and made me want to run home and lay under my bed and never interact with people again. But I had to break this up. So I stood up and between them. “You guys need to calm down.” My voice was quiet and unsure. “Lets just go Mikasa. I wanna go home early.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

When we made it out the cafeteria she yanked her arm from my grasp. “Why were you with him? Tell me now.”

“I went behind the gym and found him there so I talked to him and came back with him. Not a big deal. I was serious too. I wanna go home.”

“You aren’t leaving early again. They’re gonna kick you out.” She said this as if I would care.

“Let them. I don’t care Mikasa. The only reason I come is because you and dad force me too. I don’t even know why.”

“Because you need to be social! All you do is stay in your bed all day and never leave. Your social skills are shit. Your grades are dropping by the second. At this rate college will never be an option for you. We’re looking out for you.”

“No you’re not. Why would you care? It’s not your life, it’s mine! When you go off to college on whatever scholarship you’ll have you will forget all about me. So stop riding my ass!”

I turned away from her when I noticed Armin and Levi standing a few feet from us. Armin looked upset and Levi stoic as ever. “What?!” I snapped at them. I hated being stared at.

“Brat,” Levi walked over to me. “You need to calm the fuck down. Getting all worked up does nothing to help yourself.” He turned to Mikasa. “You need to calm your tits and let him do what he wants.”

Before they could respond the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and beginning of 6th period. “Right after this class I have a free period that I could leave during.”

“You aren’t leaving!” Mikasa snapped at me. “You need to stay here and suck it up. Armin,” She beckoned him over. “Make sure he stays with you in study hall. He needs to study.”

“Imbécile.” Levi mumbled. “If the kid doesn’t want to stay what makes you fucking think he’ll sit through two class periods?” Why was he taking my side? “Just let him leave.”

“Even if I did let him go he has no way of getting home. We leave the car at home.” She was challenging Levi to prove her wrong and to deny her, which he does. “I can get Erwin to drive him. He has his free period now.”

“How do you even know them?” Armin interjected.

“If you must know I used to live here when I first moved here. I was homeschooled but lived on their street. I moved when I was 10 but stayed in contact with all of them.” It made sense with how Hanji knew him. “So I can get Erwin to do this simple favor.”

“I don’t know…” I shook my head. “I don’t really know him and he doesn’t know me that well.”

“Brat, I’m offering to be nice. Take it or you’ll never fucking see it again. I’ll come with you and Erwin.” The second bell rang. “I need an answer now.” He pulled out his phone, probably ready to text the blonde.

“Fine.” I turned to Mikasa. “I’ll go to mom’s studio instead. Explain it to her.” I held her hand. “Okay?”

“Fine,” I saw a large amount of reluctance in her eyes. “Text me when you get there.” I nodded and let go, following after Levi who was going over to student parking. When we got there he lead us over to a black pick-up truck with Erwin already in the driver’s seat. “Hey Eren. Get in.” I nodded and went around to the other side of the truck, sliding into the seat.

It was one of those trucks that had two person seating and the entire back was the uncovered “pickup gate”. “Where is Levi going to sit?” I noticed that the inside of his car was pristine. He must be one of those car lovers.

“Levi? In the back.”

I looked through the back window and saw Levi sitting there. “Is that even legal?”

“Nope. But he doesn’t care so neither do I.” Erwin started the truck and backed out the parking lot. I gave him the address to my mom’s dance studio and looked back.

Levi was sitting, content as can be with the wind whipping through his hair. He looked calm as he watched the cars go by. “He looks kinda happy.”

“Yeah. He used to do that when we were younger too. I asked him why he liked it so much and he said “it made him feel free”. Don’t tell him I said that. He’ll kill me.” Erwin laughed as we pulled into the dance studio’s parking lot.

Carla Jaeger owned a studio called “Jaeger’s Dance and Music”. She founded it after I was born and it was her baby. She teaches a variety of dances and even teaches music there. Long story short: she’s talented. She insists I am too but I refuse to believe that. I don’t see the talent that she insists is there and that’s perfectly fine by me. But I do help her teach some of the competition teams.

“I won’t.” I picked up my bag and exited the car. “Thanks for the ride.” Erwin nodded. I started walking to the door when I heard Levi’s voice.

“Your name is Eren Jaeger?” Levi jumped out the back and came over to me.

“Yeah…”

“See you later brat.” He went into the front seat of Erwin’s truck, watching me as they pulled out. An uneasy feeling washed over me as I stepped into the waiting room.

* * *

_Levi_

“This is the dance studio isn’t it?” Erwin asked me when I entered the car. I nodded as I watched Eren walk into the building.

“Yup. I’m going to have to deal with that shitty brat after school.” I scowled as we started driving back to the school. “I talked to one of the dancers yesterday and she said that Carla had a really talented son. Didn’t expect it to be that timid brat.”

Erwin laughed at me. If it was anyone else they would be dead, but the few friends I have are exceptions to that rule. “Eren is a lost kid. He knows what he wants but the fear of doing it chokes him down. And the fact that people avoid him like a plague because of his severe anger problems doesn’t help.”

“So he’s just some fucking kid who wants to fit in. Big deal.” I meet people like that everyday. They aren’t special.

“It’s a shame he hold himself back so much. I’ve seen him help his mom teach and he’s amazingly talented. He creates and teaches choreography for the competition teams. Those dances have won awards and one of them took the main team, “Team Green”, to an international competition and placed them second place.” He sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as they were stopped at a red light. “But he’s never taken the credit for it. Always says his mom came up with it but they all know Eren does it.”

I hummed and stared out the window. So the kid was a closet dancer.

“Why doesn’t he take the credit?” I watched the buildings rush past us in blurred colors.

“He doesn’t like to be noticed by people. He thinks he’s a nuisance that way.” Erwin pulled into his parking spot and turned off the car but didn’t move. “I’ve talked to Armin about it and Eren says that he’d much rather spend his days in his bed then move. I just think he’s lonely.”

“If he’s lonely then why the hell doesn’t he socialize?” I scoffed. This brat makes no sense.

“Because people are afraid of his anger. He’s actually a really great kid but stubborn and timid.” He looked over at me. “You seem interested in him.”

“Why would I be interested in that fucking brat?” I glared coldly at him but it didn’t affect him. That’s the thing about Erwin, he knows me too well.

“I can tell you are.” He started drumming his fingers faster in the steering wheel. He was upset.

“Erwin,” I grabbed his hand, ceasing the drumming. “Are you jealous?” I asked, amused. “Because if you don’t trust me-”

“No! That’s not it. It’s just that you seemed more alive around him than you have in a while. Even when you’re with me.” He rubbed his thumb over my small hand.

“I’m with you Erwin. No one else.” I leaned over and kissed him lightly.

Erwin returned the kiss and nodded. “Okay.” He glanced at his watch. “Do you want me to drive you back over to the studio? School’s ending.” I nodded. “That would be fucking lovely.”

I lied to him. And he’s lying to me.


	3. Chapter 3: Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fangirled so hard while writing this and you will see why. Anyway I loved all the comments on the last chapter. They left me grinning like an idiot. And I will try and respond to every one of them to show my love for you guys! hit me up on Tumblr at: attackonsarah.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy lovelies!

“Hey honey!” My mom came over and pulled me into a tight hug. “Rough day?” I hugged her back, shrugging as she let go.

“Not really. Mikasa just went mama bear again.” I dropped my bag on the changing room bench and unlocked my locker. Since I spent so much time at the studio my mom gave me one of the lockers that the competition team gets. I pull out my sweats, t-shirt, and sneakers then put my bag in.

“Why? What happened?” She sat on the wooden bench that sat between the two long rows of teal lockers. My mom ordered them to look like my eye color since she loved it so much but they were about two shades too dark. I don’t have an easy eye color to match.

“Nothing really. A new guy at school wanted me to sit with him but Mikasa doesn’t like him so she wouldn’t let me. Then she went and insulted the guy’s short height which made him mad. So I came here, thanks to a ride from Erwin Smith.”

“Well then,” She stood up and walked to the door. “I’ll give you privacy. I gotta go get ready to start warm-ups for “Team Black”. They have a new dancer coming in.” She smiled warmly at me and left, leaving me alone in silence.

I never understood how I could get such a beautiful mother, let alone how my dad got her. She was average in height but very fit from her years of dancing. She kept her long,dark brunette hair in a ponytail all the time so it would stay out of her golden eyes. I had her same facial shape but I mostly got my looks from my father. Her personality was also very desirable. She had a warm and sunny disposition, lighting up any room she stepped in. A warm glow always emitted from her but you didn’t want to see her mad. When she got mad she went all out. But Carla Jaeger was a wonderful woman and the best mom I could ask for.

I quickly changed into my dance clothes and threw my school ones back in the locker. Thankfully no one was here to change at the same time as me. I hated being exposed in any way around other people. I won't even go swimming. Ever since I was a kid I did this. I guess I was always self-conscious.

I walked out the locker room and navigated my way throughout the studio, waving at the dancers and instructors as I walked by. I had to go to the very back out the studio to get to “Team Black’s” room. Here individual classes are taught but my mom has 4 competition teams. “Team White”, which is the lowest team and is mainly for beginners to competitions. “Team Blue”, this team is strictly more ballet dancers and has won a fair share of awards. “Team Black”, our second best team which deals with more difficult and high tempo songs. “Team Green” is the t leading team and had won countless awards, even a few international. I help my mom teach and choreograph the black and green teams. I don’t do ballet and beginners can’t keep up. What was surprising me was that there was a new member to “Team Black”. It was very difficult to work your way up to the higher teams, so whoever this was must be good.

I opened the door and was greeted with the site of my mother and the team doing simple stretches, socializing while doing so. But I don’t see any new faces.

“Hey mom.” I shut the door and joined her, sitting on the floor in a half split and stretching. “Where’s the new guy?”

“I just sent him to the locker room. He should be returning shortly.” She faced the team. “Okay! I need you all to line up!” I stood up and stood next to her as she started addressing the dancers. “As you all know we have a new dancer joining us today. He is very young, only a Junior like Eren and doesn’t know any of our group dance. I’m going to need all of you to help him when necessary because he will be dancing with us at “The Trost” in a month,” This earned a collective groan from the team. “Quit your whining! I’ve seen what he can do and he’s very talented, a valuable asset to this team. I almost put him on “Team Green” but that would be unfair. He will be here shortly so be ready for an introduction.” And with that we all went back to stretching. It was amazing how authoritative my mother was. When it came to her competition teams it was all business.

But I can understand why the team is so reluctant. “The Trost” is the second biggest dance competition, next to “Sina”. This team hasn’t lost the competition in 5 years and my mother wasn’t about to lose now. “Team Black” wins the group awards and the solo awards every year. We’ve tried to enter “Sina” but they say we lack an extra piece. Maybe this new guy is the piece we need to enter. Hopefully.

After I finished my stretches I went to the stereo to pull out the songs we needed:

1\. “Bad Dog” by Neon Hitch (for a pair dance that I have yet to teach yet)

2\. “Turn Up” by Vic (the caked up remix, of which I’m very fond of and his for the whole group)

3\. “Beat Drop” by Simon Curtis (another pair dance)

4\. “Latch” by Disclosure fet. Sam Smith (male solo)

5\. “Break Free” by Ariana Grande fet. Zedd (female solo)

I hand picked all the songs and did all the choreography. My mom practically let me run this team, which was fine by me as long as I didn’t have to go into competitions.  

“Oi brat.”

The sudden voice started me, causing me to jump and drop the CDs. I knew that voice. But is it really?

“Levi?” I stared down at him, slightly stupefied.

“What does it fucking look like?” He looked down at the CDs. “Are you going to pick those up?” I nodded and dropped down to the floor, quickly picking them up and placing them on top the large stereo.

“How did you get on the team? Wait, you dance? When did you tryout? Are you that-”

“Brat! If you slow the fuck down I can answer.” He nodded. “I came in yesterday and tried out.” An amused smirk spread across his face. “I didn’t think her son would be your annoying ass.” He waved his arm. “Come on, I gotta introduce myself.”

I followed him to the front of the room and stood off to the side next to my mother. The dancers were looking at him like it was a joke. Most likely they didn’t expect him to be so...vertically challenged.

“Everybody listen up!” My mother barked. “Be quiet and-”

“No need Mrs. Jaeger. I dare them to talk while I’m talking.” His tone was respectful yet there was a slight threat at the end of his voice.

“I’d listen to him. Now tell us about yourself.”

“My name is Rivaille Heichou but since Americans can’t seem to pronounce it call me Levi. If you couldn’t tell from my obvious fucking accent or my first name: I am French. I moved to America, to this very town, when I was 8 years old but moved states when I was 10 only to have my family move back here.” His eyes scanned intently over the group. “I frankly don’t care what anyone thinks and will tell you so.” He stopped talking when he noticed one of the dancers talking to the girl next to him, snickering slightly. “And I dare you to make fun of my origin or height because this short little pretty French boy will kick your sorry ass.” He nodded to my mom, signaling the end of his speech.

“You heard him folks!” She walked next to him, clapping her hands loudly. “Eren,” She looked over at me. “Put on the female solo and help Faye. Class, sit off to the side and watch.”

We all nodded and the female soloist, Faye, stood in the center of the room, waiting for my command. I felt an odd need to really show Levi what I could do. Why? I put in the CD and grabbed the stereo remote and went over to Faye. “Do you remember the dance.” She rolled her eyes and nodded, taking her position. I hated teaching Faye. She gave me the worst fucking attitude. Probably because she had to take orders from someone younger than her. “And brighten the hell up. Facial expression is everything when you dance and when you look like someone pissed in your cheerios it won’t look good.”

“Whatever. You know nothing about performing because you’re too much of a wuss to do so.”

“Shut up and dance.” I turned on the music and she started her dance routine. Throughout the dance I kept having to give her reminders. “Facial expression!”, “Straighten up your form!”, and “Wrong fucking move!”

“If you don’t like how I’m doing then become a better teacher!” I turned off the music and walked in front of her. The thing about teaching was that they knew I was all business.

“Or maybe we need a different soloist. I chose you specifically to do this dance and you’re letting me down.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me,” I turned around faced my mother. “Mom, I want a new female soloist. Faye isn’t working out...again.”

She nodded and pointed Faye off the floor. My mom let me call the shots for this team and rightfully so. Every decision I make is for the benefit of this team. “Lola,” I turned to a short girl with electric blue hair. “You want to do the solo?” She nodded enthusiastically and went to the center of the floor. Lola was our best female dancer and always my backup choice. She was also doing the first pair but I haven’t given her a partner yet. I wonder…

“Levi,” I turned to him. “Would you do a duet with Lola?”

“Depends brat. What’s the duet?” He walked over to me.

“I’ll show you after class.” He nodded and walked back into the corner he was originally in. “Okay Lola! Let’s get shaking!”

* * *

I spent the whole class teaching Lola the solo, as expected. Of course throughout the whole thing I had Faye bitching at me, which hindered some progress. But Lola managed to learn the dance and came mighty close to perfecting it.

After everyone left I told my mom I’ll be staying late to help Levi learn the duet.

“Okay. Call Mikasa or I when you’re done.” She kissed my forehead and left me alone with Levi. I glanced at the clock and saw it was after 7pm. Practice took 5 hours today. Actually probably one of our shortest in a long time.

“Okay brat,” Levi pushed off the wall and walked over. “What song is it to?”

“Bad Dog by Neon Hitch.” I changed the music disc out.

“Interesting. And you choose all this?”

I nodded. “All of it. Our next duet is going to be a doozy for our girls.”

“What is it?”

“S&M by Rihanna.” I grabbed the stereo remote. “Ready?”

“That’s a pretty risque song brat.” He stretched his arms and I could see the muscle under his shirt. Damn.

“Your point? That’s how we win. I make risks for this team. Judges want variety.”

“Good point.” He rolled his neck. “Okay, teach me brat.”

“I have to warn you though, this dance requires us to be close.”

He rolled his eyes. “What are you? In kindergarten? I can handle it.”

“S-Sorry.” I turned on the music and started taking him through the complex turns, jumps, and spins. He was really good at keeping up with the tempo and my moves. It was almost as if he knew what I was going to do next. Then it got awkward, at least for me.

“Okay now on this part, since you’re the guy, put your hands on my hips.” He simply nodded and moved closer to me, setting his hands on my hips. A blush threatened to stain my cheeks and I did my best to keep it at bay. “Good. Now this next part might be...uncomfortable.”

“Just tell me what to fucking do brat.” He was irritated but an amused glint was in his eyes,

“Now since Lola is shorter it will be easier with her, but you have to run...run your hands up my, or her, sides.”

“Like this?” His slender hands skillfully ran up the side of my body.

“Y-Yeah…” I stuttered, my face lighting up bright red. “Now you push me away and we go back into the chorus.”

“What if I don’t want to push you away?” He smirked, his hands ran back down, lightly stopping at the top of my thighs.

I cleared my throat and pushed him away. I have never been made so flustered before so how did he do it so simply?

“You did well. Lesson over. It’s almost,” I looked over at the clock and saw it was almost 10pm. “It’s late.”

“Got it brat.” Levi went back to his usual disposition and walked past me. “Let’s get changed.”

* * *

_Levi_

That damn brat. Making me lose control, even if it was for a brief moment. I loathed him for it. But it was so easy. Eren was unsuspecting prey and damn did he look adorable all flustered up like that. His tan skin stained red and eyes wide. He looked more adorable than when I first saw him. He was tall, but then again who wasn’t tall to me. Chestnut hair an untidy mess, a look that suited him. His tan skin set off his amazing teal eyes and long eyelashes. Eren had a feminine quality about him that I found irresistible.

Erwin was right. I am interested in him but I’ve only known him a day. The brat’s personality was also odd. In public he was shyer and more reserved, but on the bus and in the dance class he was annoying, persistent, and blunt. He also had a certain power about him when he danced, like it was the one thing he was sure of. But his reservation kicks in and he refuses any compliments and takes no credit for what he does. As if he wanted to be noticed but didn’t at the same time. Eren was a creature that had layers to him and I liked that.

Eren also had another thing about him: he didn’t like to be exposed.

“What’s the point in changing in the bathroom? Is it because you barely know me? Because guys and dolls share this locker room so you see it all.” I pulled my clothes out of my assigned locker and scowled. When I got home a scalding hot shower was in order.

“No. It’s not that. I just don’t like being...open in front of others.” He fiddled with his shirt nervously.

“Why? Because you have scars or something? Because if that’s the damn case you should suck it up.”

“I just don’t. Even when I was kid. I never even went swimming so I didn’t learn.” He mumbled, looking down. Damn he was too adorable for his own good.

“Whatever brat. Just change. I’ll turn around.” I turned so that my back was facing him and changed into my jeans. When I took off my shirt I heard him gasp and I knew why. “It’s rude to stare brat.” I pulled on my shirt and shoved my sweaty clothes in my gym bag.

“Sorry.” He stumbled out quickly, collecting his things. “I shouldn’t have looked.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t.” I bit back at him. I slammed my locker shut and pulled out my phone. “Damn parents.” I mumbled. They didn’t let me take my car because they want me to ride the bus this year so I know have to search for a ride at 10pm. I texted everyone and in the end Erwin pulled through, as always.

“Do you need a ride home? My mom or Mikasa could drive.”

I shook my head, walking out of the locker room with Eren following behind. “Erwin is giving me a ride.” We walked outside and Eren set the alarm and locked the studio doors. It was pitch black out except for the few street lamps there were. The air was cool and clear. I breathed it in. I loved the feel and smell of night air. It had a certain purity to it that the day didn’t have.

“Erwin seems really nice. I’ve only talked to him a few times though.”

“He’s one of the only people that will put up with my shit on the daily, so that’s good.”

“Are you two, ya know, dating?”

I nodded my head. “We have been for about 2 years now. Mainly over the internet since my parents hiked me to fucking Colorado but we’ve flown to see each other as well.”

“Wow...that’s a long time.”

“Yeah, well I don’t know how much longer we can really last. He’s already accused me of looking at another guy.” That guy being you, Eren Jaeger. “But I’ve put what little trust I possess anymore in him and that means a whole hell of a lot brat.”

“You don’t trust people? Why not?”

“Because I trusted someone once and he betrayed me in the worst way. Ripped it right out of me.” Why was I telling him this? It’s none of his business.

“Oh, sorry I asked.”

The sound of car rumbled closer to us until I saw it was Erwin. “My ride. You gonna be okay alone brat?” I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone at this time of night.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. I do this all the time.” Eren waved at me, smiling brightly. “See you tomorrow...Rivaille.”

He said my name right.

 


	4. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I edited this chapter because I punched myself in the face for what I posted earlier. A lot of it is still the same but I changed up a few things. So I hope this is better, because I almost cried earlier because I felt like I failed. Oops.   
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy (hopefully)

_Levi_

“How was practice?”

I slipped into the front seat of Erwin’s truck and buckled up. As he pulled out of the parking lot I watched Eren, ignoring my boyfriend.

“Levi,” He nudged my arm. “How was practice?”

“Fine. I’m in a duet.” I rested my elbow in the windowsill and stared out the window.

“Is that why you stayed late? Is it with Eren?”

I shook my head. “He was just teaching it to me. I’m paired up with some chick named Lola.” I don’t know why but there a some kind of tension between us.

“Was it just you two in there?” There it fucking was.

“Yes.” I looked over at him. “Is that a problem?”

Erwin didn’t look at me or even acknowledge me. He kept staring straight ahead at the dark, empty road. I looked back out the window. He’s being ridiculous. Probably thinking that we fucked or something. I know I’m a bad person with bad habits, but a cheater I am not and never will be. That would be lying and I don’t like lying. I lost a slight bit of control but that was it. I didn’t kiss him or do anything that resulted in any acts except a blushing and flustered Eren.

We rode the rest of the way home in silence. Home. I dreaded going to that hellhole. To my foster parents. That’s right I don’t live with my actual parents. If I did I would still be in France and I would be happy. Technically I’m an orphan but I hate that term. It reminds me of the fact that I no longer had parents. First my mom died of cancer when I was only 6 years old. My father kinda fell into this weird in between state. He was distant from everybody and developed a drinking habit. Of course he never laid a hand on me. But one day I came home from school to find him dead on the kitchen floor. Alcohol poisoning. Next thing I knew I was adopted by a family in America and 8 year-old me was shipped off to America.

“Levi. We’re here.” The sound of Erwin’s voice brought me from my thoughts. Without a word I jumped out the car and slammed the door shut, taking out my keys and unlocking my door. It was quiet and dark. A good sign. I calmly shut the door and swiftly walked up the staircase and past my parent’s and brother’s rooms. I had the last room in the hallway, farthest away from everyone else. This was okay with me. It had its own bathroom so that made me happy enough. It was almost 11pm but regardless I went into my pristine white bathroom that was connected to my equally pristine but mostly dark room.

For my first day of school I was forced to wear my nicer jeans and white button up. Nothing like my usual all black and chains attire. Yeah, I wear chains and black fingerless gloves on a daily basis. Problem? Didn’t think so.

I tossed my gym bag aside and turned the shower from arctic cold to Satan’s piss hot. I took showers on the most scalding hot setting I could get it on. My body was littered with burn scars from the water but I didn’t care. I felt cleaner this way. Being clean was a certain fix of mine. I hated dirt, sweat, or anything remotely close to that. All of it was disgusting. So I went to extremes to be clean.

Steam filled the bathroom and I slipped under the hot water and started scrubbing myself. By the time I finished all the hot water was gone and my skin was raw and burning hot. The thing was I couldn’t feel it. I’ve been doing this for 8 years so I’ve gotten used to it.

I quickly changed into some sweatpants and a much-too-large-for-me shirt and laid on my bed. It was already past midnight but it was still too early so I decided to actually do my homework. I was in ever AP and honors class so my workload was already high. For me to even get into this forsaken school I had to agree to be in those classes. So now on top of dealing with my family’s shit and dance I have a shitload of homework. Woopty-fucking-do.

My family. Where to start with those assholes. They made me the way I am today. When I was first adopted by them I didn’t know any English whatsoever and their French was mediocre at best. So my “father” started to gradually teach me English, along with a certain orange haired girl named Petra Ral. Through her I met Erwin and that group. But she was nice to me about it.

My foster family was kind in the beginning. They helped me whenever they could and got me enrolled in special classes at the elementary school that taught English alongside my native language. But my father was short-tempered. One day we were all sitting in the living room and the family was having a conversation. I didn’t understand what they were saying and I was struggling to keep up. So I decided to tune them out and stare at my glass of water. Suddenly Jack, their son who is a year older than me, let out a laugh that startle the shit out of me, causing me to jump and drop the glass all over the floor. Liam, my father, started yelling at me but I still couldn’t understand. All I knew was that he was mad and it scared me even more. I tried to answer back but I couldn’t form the words in English so I got frustrated and let out a grunt. Liam took this as “back talk” and slapped me right across the face. The room went silent and I was stunned. “S-So...Sorry.” I stuttered out to him and he nodded. Then everything went back to normal. As if no one had just seen what happened.

This kind of treatment got worse and worse over the years. From slaps, to punches, to kicks. I finally put a stop to it around the time I started dating Erwin. Liam decided it would be funny to call me a “faggot” and kick me straight in the stomach. I punched him across the mouth, hard and threatened to call the police on his sorry ass. That ended that. Of course he switched from physical abuse to verbal and emotional instead but it’s easier to ignore him that way. Because of him I became emotionally hard. I‘ve stopped smiling and laughing. In short: I became an asshole.

He also took away a lot of the trust I had for other people. The only person I even remotely trust now is Erwin but he doesn’t trust me. I understand why. When you spend 3 years sucking dick for athletes you won’t be trusted easily in a relationship anymore. That all started when I was in 8th grade and realized that I was gay. Now that would’ve been okay if word didn’t reach the high school that Levi the pretty little French boy was gay. I went to a combined junior and senior high school so word got around fast. That’s when the football team decided to use me as their personal “little whore”. This went on even when I was dating Erwin and I told him when I moved here all about it. Of course he didn’t hold it against me but I could tell he was mad at me. I honestly had no choice. But it ruined a part of our relationship. He doesn’t trust me around Eren for the same reason. But I guess I should’ve expected it.

That’s also the reason why I’m so obsessed about being clean. Of course no matter what I did I will never feel clean. Not after all those things I did behind Erwin’s back.

By the time I finished my homework it was almost 4am. “Damn.” I had to be on the bus in a couple hours but I wasn’t close to being tired. I had unofficial insomnia, which means we assume I do but no doctor or professional has made it a fact. But I think going 3 to 4 days straight without sleep may make that a fact. That’s why the circles under and surrounding my eyes are almost black. People think it’s eyeliner or something all the time.

I could hear the sound of Liam and Penny, mom and dad, getting ready. They both worked at the local hospital as doctors so their schedules were fucked up. This will be their first day of work and they kept saying that they couldn’t wait to see the leading doctor there. Apparently he was world renowned or something. I stood up and put away my schoolwork and went over to the large window that covered a third of one of my walls. It was still dark out, since it was late October, but there were hints of sunrise. The sky in the far distance was a very faint orange. The shapes of rustling trees in the wind were barely seeable in the dark. The weather here was fairly warm for almost being November but the wind was a bitch.

**  
**I oddly couldn’t wait to get on that bus. To see that teal-eyed brat and the way his face conveyed all his emotions and what he was thinking. Eren was an open book but was still difficult to figure out. I liked that. If I wasn’t with Erwin he would be a viable option for me. He doesn’t know about the things I’ve done and doesn’t care. But I can’t make Erwin not trust me further. Which means I have to stay away from Eren as much as possible.


	5. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I hate school. Gets in the way of my writing time! Anyway here's a new chapter all you lovely people and I hope you like it.   
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy <3

“Eren, you’re up! And on time?” I smiled and nodded to Mikasa as we started walking to the door.

“Yup. I didn’t actually fall asleep though.” Truth was I stayed up all night cleaning my room and doing my homework.

“Why were you up all night?” Concern was edging into her voice.

“Cleaning and homework.”

This caused her to stop walking down the street and stare at me incredulously. “Who are you and what have you done with Eren Jaeger?”

“What? I couldn’t sleep and I had a lot of energy.” I stopped walking when we got to the bus stop. Sasha wasn’t at the stop yet. Very odd for her since she was always early in the morning.

“Still. It’s not normal for you at all. Are you feeling alright?” Mikasa actually felt my forehead, much to my amusement. I swatted her hand away and rolled my eyes as the bus rolled up and opened its doors for us.

“I am being normal. Just relish in this one time deal.” I heard Mikasa laugh slightly and we climbed into the bus. It was actually pretty empty. “Why aren’t there any people on the bus?”

“You didn’t get the email? They put the first route on bus 1 since there wasn’t hardly anyone on it.” I hummed and followed her back. Since they eliminated that first route none of our friends were on this bus, except Sasha but she wasn’t here today for some reason. We took a seat two rows from the front but Mikasa got the window seat because That’s one thing I can’t argue on.

“So you got home pretty late last night. Why is that?” Shit.

“I was helping one of the dancers with a duet.”

“Which dancer?” Double shit.

“Levi.” I mumbled, fiddling with the end of my green hoodie.

“What?! You were alone with him?” I could hear the accusatory tone rising in her voice.

“Yes. But I was teaching him the duet he’s doing with Lola.” My voice was timid.

“Since when did he join “Team Black”? Or dance for that matter.”

“He joined a few days ago. Yesterday was his first day,” I glanced over at her. “He’s an amazing dancer. Might be what we need to get to Sina.”

“I know what you guys need. And it’s you! You’re probably better than he is.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “Not even close. Everybody on that team is better than me. I’m just the choreographer.”

“Eren,” She grabbed my hand. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Do what?”

“Put yourself down. You’re amazingly talented yet you insist that everyone is better than you. Everybody knows you’re a great dancer and they haven’t even heard you sing-”

“Mikasa.” I looked at her sternly. “Stop. I might be able to dance but I cannot sing.” I pulled my hand away from her’s. The bus rolled into the bus parking lot and as soon as the doors opened I ran out, leaving Mikasa behind.

I hated it when she did that. Go on about how I’m talented or smart. But I know she only says that because she’s my sister. I’m just a small spot in this world. Nothing special or unique.

Suddenly I was no longer walking, but on the floor. I had rammed head on into someone and they too were on the floor.

“I’m so sorry!” I scrambled up and picked up the person’s bag. “I should’ve watched where I was going…” I trailed off when I realized I knew this person. It was Levi. But he look a whole hell of a lot different than he did the other day.

Instead of being in a white shirt and jeans he was in all black. Black skinny jeans, combat boots and short sleeve shirt. Hanging from his jeans were metal chains and he had on black fingerless gloves. And was that a nose piercing? This was much different than what I saw the day before. I liked it. But all the black made him look even paler, which oddly worked for him. He looked so badass and sexy. Holy shit.

“Obviously.” He glared up at me and snatched his bag from me. Yup, nose piercing. Wait, was that eyeliner?

“Oi brat, you’re staring.”

“S-Sorry. You just look so different.” Why did I say that?

“Different?” I spotted a very brief glint in his eye. “How?”

“W-Well...you’re in all black, chains, you have a nose piercing, and are you wearing eyeliner?”

“I’m not wearing eyeliner brat. It’s just because I don’t fucking sleep.”

“Oh well...you look more comfortable than you did yesterday. This look suits you.” Really Eren? This look suits you?

“My damn parents made me wear that bland piece of shit. Said I should “make a good impression”. They can go fuck themselves.” Levi shifted on his feet, leaning in his hip. “What class do you have first?”

“Psychology II,” I cocked my head. “Why weren’t you on the bus? Are you the first stop they changed?”

“Goddamn brat, do you ever stop asking stupid questions?” He rolled his eyes. “I drove here. In my car.”

“I didn’t know you had a car.”

“You wouldn’t know.” He sighed. “So you like psychology?”

“Um...yeah. Why are you acting all nice?”

“I’m not. Just striking up a fucking conversation.” Levi glanced around and I noticed a few people staring at what he was wearing, and it seems he did too.

“Don’t worry about other people. They don’t like people who are different.”

“I don’t give a shit about what others think of me. A wast of my damn time.” He looked up at me and back at the people. “You weren’t talking about me, were you?”

I shook my head. “Sorry. I should get going.” I started to walk past him when a strong hand grabbed my arm, preventing me from moving. I tried to push his arm away but he was surprisingly strong. “Can I please get through?” I asked quietly.

“No.” He said simply. “I want to know why you hate yourself.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes you do. I can tell.”

“None of your business. I barely know you.” I finally pushed past him and walked down the hallway into my class, spending the rest of the period trying to get rid of the question he asked me.

* * *

_Levi_

As I walked into the obnoxiously loud cafeteria I scanned the crowd, looking for my “friends”. When I spotted them at the same table they were at yesterday, must be a thing, I pushed my way past all the dirty bodies.

“Hey Levi.” Petra waved me over and I sat next to Erwin. We haven’t talked to each other once all day and it was pissing me off. I didn’t do anything wrong yet he acts like I killed his puppy.

“Where’s Hanji?” I asked flatly, tracing invisible patterns on the table.

“She’s coming. Should be here any-”

“COME ON EREN! SIT WITH ME!” The high shrill of Hanji’s voice echoed across the cafeteria but no one paid any mind. Must be a common occurrence. I looked behind me and saw a very enthusiastic Hanji pulling along a certain mortified Eren.

“Hanji I can’t.” He tried to break away from her grasp but we all knew how Hanji could death grip onto anything and never let go.

“Bullshit! Mikasa won’t mind.”

“B-But-”

“Sit.” She pushed Eren into the seat across from mine and she sat right next to him. “I got transferred into his psychology class and did you know he is really smart?” Eren buried his blushing face into his hands, shaking his head. Absolutely fucking adorable.

“Suck it up and take the compliment brat.” Hanji burst into laughter and everyone smiled, except Erwin. He was practically staring daggers into Eren.

“Shut up.” Eren retorted weakly, standing up. “I gotta go sit with Mikasa.”

“Sit down brat. She has you on a fucking leash. Be a bad dog once in a while and chew through it.” The latter part of the statement caused him to light up bright red.

“I-I’m not a dog!” He stuttered. “And she doesn’t have me on a leash.”

I nodded to the seat across from me. “Then sit and fucking stay.”

“Fine.” Eren sat back down, a faint smile on his lips.

“I’ll be right back.” Erwin got up and left the table without saying another word.

“Are you and Erwin okay? You guys have been acting way off lately.” Petra scooted next to me. The thing about Petra was that I couldn’t lie to her.

“I honestly don’t fucking know what’s wrong with him.” I really didn’t. After telling him about the last 3 years he lost some trust in me but stayed relatively the same. But after I met Eren he started growing distant from me. “I think something is wrong.”

“You should talk to him.” I scoffed.

“He won’t talk to me. It’s pissing me off.” I glanced behind me in the direction he went. “I think he went to the bathroom. I’m gonna go hunt him down. Be right back.”

I stood up from the table and slipped out the cafeteria, going down the small hallway that lead to the bathrooms. On the right side was the girl’s restroom and on the left the guy’s restroom. These were actually relatively clean compared to all the other ones. I opened the door to a site I wasn’t prepared to see.

Erwin had Eren’s best friend, Armin wrapped in his arms and was kissing him. Like fucking making-out. As soon as I entered they jumped apart. Armin’s face was bright red.

“Hey Levi...this is awkward.” He laughed slightly.

“What the fuck Erwin?” I walked fully in and closed the door, my mind still trying to process what I just saw.

“Levi I-”

“You’re cheating on me?”

Armin looked between, confusion clearly plastered across his face. “Wait, you two are dating? But Erwin, you said you weren’t seeing anyone besides me.” So this kid didn’t even know about us?!

“I can’t believe you. How long have you two been together? How long Erwin?!”

“A few months now.” He answered calmly but I could see the emotions raging in his eyes. He never expected this to happen. For me to find this all out.

“I can’t fucking believe you! I trusted you!” My voice emitted pain and I was in pain. At this Armin slipped out of the bathroom. Smart kid. I wasn’t mad at him. He didn’t know anything.

“And I trusted you but you went around sucking dicks and now you’re making the move on Jaeger.”

“I had no choice on the first one and you know that. I was forced into that position. And I’m not “making the move” on that brat.”

“Levi listen. I can’t trust you anymore. And I really like Armin. I was trying to find a way to breakup with you and it seems you did it yourself. Now if you would excuse me I need to go talk to Armin.”

**  
**Erwin left the bathroom, leaving me alone and hurt. The last bit of trust I even possessed was just ripped away from my body, leaving a hollow feeling. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. How do you cry again? I couldn’t even remember how. How pitiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. Erwin the asshole! Poor Armin and Levi. And Ioved writing Levi's description. So badass.


	6. Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me a little longer. I really took my time on this chapter to try and make it amazing for you guys!   
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy <3

“Okay, so last night I was trying to experiment this chemical on a rat I found and the rat exploded. I was so fucking cool!” Hanji laughed and grabbed my hand. “Isn’t it cool?!”

“Sure…”

Petra laughed and took a bite of her apple. “Hanji, stop scaring the boy.” I laughed slightly. Petra and Hanji were actually pretty awesome. They did their best to not make me uncomfortable, but Hanji kinda forgets.

“I’m not scared…” I looked behind Petra and saw Armin racing to the table, tears streaming down his face. My protective instinct over him kicked in and I jumped up from my seat and met him. His arms immediately wrapped around me and he cried into my shirt. “Armin what happened?!”

“...Erwin...Levi…” He choked out between sobs before crying harder.

“Erwin and Levi? What happened? What did they do to you?” I lead him over next to Petra and set him down. Hanji and Petra stayed quiet but concern shined in their eyes.

“For the past few months I’ve been dating Erwin secretly without anyone noticing. And we were kissing in the bathroom when Levi came in. Then he started saying how Erwin was cheating on him. Erwin had been dating Levi the whole time he was with me!” Armin cried harder into his hands. “He lied to me!”

Anger flared up in me. Erwin was dating Armin and Levi at the same time without anyone knowing? Oh hell no. Nobody gets away with hurting Armin. He was my best friend and you don’t mess with my best friend.

Petra and Hanji flanked Armin, trying to calm him down as I scanned the crowd, looking for the tall blonde menace. When I saw Erwin walking over to the table I snapped. I ran over to him and body slammed him into one of the wide columns that lined the room. The whole cafeteria stopped moving but no one dared to try and stop me. They knew better.

“What the hell Eren?!” I pinned him to the ground, digging my knees into his side. He may be bigger and stronger than me but Annie gave me fighting lessons on how to deal with opponents like this.

“Were you having fun? Breaking Armin’s fucking heart and probably Levi’s in the process?!”

“I don’t know what you’re-” I slapped him straight across the face, the sound echoing in the silent cafeteria.

“Like hell you don’t!” Before I could move he pushed me off and picked me up by my shirt front, slamming me into the column and holding me there, feet dangling slightly off the ground. I heaved myself up and kicked him square in the stomach, making him drop me. As soon as my feet hit the ground I punched him as hard as I could across the mouth. “You fucking bastard!” Before I could deal out anymore damage I was suddenly yanked by the arm away from Erwin and thrown over the person’s shoulder.

“What the hell? Let me down!” I started flailing in the person’s grasp but I didn’t even budge. They carried me out of the cafeteria and down to the empty courtyard, where they threw me on the ground. “Ow! That fucking hurt!”

“I don’t give a shit what you fucking want, brat.” Shit. I looked up at Levi. His voice conveyed anger but his expression was stoic as usual, except his eyes. They looked empty. “Why did you do that?” I stood up and sat on top of one of the picnic tables.

“Because that shithead hurt Armin!” And you.

“That’s not a reason to let your damn emotions get the best of you,” He studied me and I saw a little bit of life come to his eyes. “But I must say you look more like you did at the studio.”

“What do you mean?”

“You acted more like a human being rather than a dejected dog.”

“I’m not a dog!”

“See, there it is. A passion. A fire in your eyes. Why does that disappear when you’re around people?”

“Why should I talk to you? You don’t care.” His eyes narrowed and he walked over to me, pulling my shirt collar so that I was eye level with him. He had some kind of determination glowing in his eyes. Also, his eyes were more of a blue than the steel-grey I saw before.

“What the hell makes you think I don’t care?” He pulled me down closer so that our foreheads were touching and our breathing mixed. “Don’t ever assume that I’m something.” I nodded and my face burned red. His lips were so close…

“What the hell are you two doing?” I jerked back and saw Mikasa standing in front of us, tapping her foot on the ground. She was mad. Really mad.

“Mikasa I-”

“Come on.” She threw my bag at me. “Class starts soon.” She glared over at Levi. “I need to talk to you. Now.” Nerves shot through my body as I picked up my bag.

“I don’t think Levi-”

“Okay.” Levi glanced over at me. “Go to class brat. Your sister and I have the same class next anyway.” I nodded.

“See you at the studio.” And with that they walked off together. Nothing good is going to come from this.

* * *

_Levi_

Mikasa and I walked out behind the gym, knowing it would be the only private place she could talk to me in. I already knew what she was going to talk about. It was so fucking obvious.

“Stay away from Eren.” Cutting straight to the point I see.

“Why?” I crossed my arms.

“Because people like you hurt other people and I don’t want to see Eren get hurt. He’s vulnerable and makes bad decisions.”

“No he isn’t. He’s strong and can take care of himself. You’re just keeping him reined in.”

“I’m protecting him.”

“Does he even fucking need it?”

“Yes, he does. Eren is impulsive and vulnerable. He doesn’t think before he acts-”

“Like hell he doesn’t. All I ever see is him over thinking. The only time in the past two days that he hasn’t done that is when he was dancing and teaching.”

“What’re you talking about? He’s always reserved.”

That’s when it hit me. Only I’ve seen him like that.

“No he’s not. And it’s such a shame you only see that side of him.” The bell rang and I turned around. “Gotta get to class. Wouldn’t want to be late.”

* * *

I slipped into my honors Algebra 2 class on took my seat in the back corner. All of Eren’s friends were here. Connie, Sasha, Krista, and Ymir sat in the very front. I noticed that they often called Connie “Aang” after that Avatar character, which anyone with two eyes could see. Sasha...well she was like their Hanji, but obsessed with food instead of science. Krista was pretty cute, petite, and I associated her with Petra since they had the same caring nature. Ymir on the other hand was the opposite. She towered over Krista and had a hard personality that the small blonde could only break through, also she is very possessive over Krista and will pretty much break you if you touch or hurt her. I liked Ymir.

In the middle row sat Jean and Marco. It seems they have some kind of relationship but it isn’t open, although I’m pretty sure everyone can see it. Marco was kind and helpful to anyone and acted quite innocent, almost Krista like. Jean on the other hand obviously never thinks before talking, or opening his mouth for that matter. That’s where Marco came in as damage control.

In the third row sat Armin and Mikasa, Eren’s closest friend and sister. Armin was very intellectually gifted and kind. He had this golden shine to him that you just didn’t see in other people. It wasn’t innocence, just a shine. Mikasa was pretty much what everyone wanted to be. She was smart, athletic, and pretty. But her attitude was ignorance. She didn’t pay attention to the people around her, no matter how much she said she did.

In the back row where I was sat Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie. They were okay. A very close knit group it seemed. Reiner was a big guy and so was Bertolt, but they were both open to others and were happily dating. Annie was the kind of person that saw everyone as a waste of her time, which I could respect. The trio mostly kept to themselves, doing little participation but were very smart also.

When I scanned the room I noticed Armin was looking at me. His bright blue eyes shining with shed and unshed tears. He was in pain and it was written all over his face. A burning hate rose in me for Erwin. He not only lied to me but to this amazing kid also. He broke both our hearts but I was more mad at him for breaking Armin’s.

“Okay class,” Armin’s attention turned to the front and so did mine. The Algebra 2 teacher, Ms. Potts, picked up her yard stick and pointed to some page numbers on the board. “This is a continuation of yesterday’s lesson. Have this complete and turned in by the end of the period.” The class nodded and we started our work.

Ms. Potts was about 24 years-old and still single which of course fueled all the fantasies of the hormone crazed teenage boys. I’ve only been here a few days and have already heard my fair share of “I’d let her beat me with yard stick anyday” fantasies. Too many horny ass teens.

It took me the whole class period to finish the bookwork she assigned us. I swear that she doesn’t actually teach. Just points at the book and says “mush”. I turned in my work and I realized this was my free period, as well as Armin and Eren. Before the small blonde could leave the building I caught up to him. “Hey kid.”

“Oh, hey Levi,” Armin’s voice cracked and sounded rough. “How are you doing?” We walked out the building and headed toward the library.

“As good as I can be with all the shit that has happened. My question is how you’re holding up?”

“I’m….not so good. I thought he actually liked me…”

“Oh he does. Trust me.” Armin looked over at me, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Armin smiled before going back to a dejected look. “But he was with you too, so he obviously doesn’t like me that much.”

“He wanted to be with you more than he wanted to be with me. He just didn’t know how to tell me.”

“Even if he did Eren won’t let us near each other. He’s very protective over me.” We stopped in front of the library door. “Speaking of which he will be studying with me, and it seems you also.”

“I’ll join,” I leaned against the side of the building. “Why is he protective?” I felt a spark run through me and an uncomfortable feeling forming. Was it jealousy?

“Well, ever since elementary school I was bullied. The other kids pushed me around for my short height and weak body. Called me a girl. I even got beat up a few times.” He sighed. “But Eren was there for me. He defended me when no one else did. We’ve been friends practically since birth. We have this best friend kind of love for each other.”

“Damn. Sounds rough. I was teased for what I looked like too.” I stared at the small blonde intently. He said that him and Eren had a love for each other, but it wasn’t romantic. I wonder what that kind of love feels like.

“Really? People would pick on you?” He looked at me, surprised.

“I was a young kid too. People jumped at the chance to pick on the small fucking French kid. But eventually I learned how to defend myself from them.” I pushed myself off the wall. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world. You gotta learn to play the game.”

“Game? Like chess?”

“Kinda, but not as analytical. People think so much before making their next move. But I also use instinct. It’s also good to find weakness in opponents. Study them. See what they love, what they hate, how they dress and what they eat, who they talk too. Find what makes them tick.” I patted Armin’s head. “You could do it.”

“Thanks,” He smiled before looking past me. “Hey Eren! Levi is joining us.”

“Cool.” Eren pulled Armin into a hug. “How’re you holding up?”

“Fine.” Armin smiled up at him and Eren smiled back. You could see the love and friendship between them. “Lets go study. Especially you Eren.”

“Sure, point me out.” He mumbled, still smiling. “Come on Levi.”

Armin lead to the back of the large library and set us at a large, dark wood table. “I’m going to go grab some books. Be right back.” Armin went back up to the front of the library, probably to talk to the librarian. This was a very impressive building. It was very large and had a darker color scheme to it. There were rows upon rows of books too. I sat down in one of the chairs.

“Amazing right? It’s larger than the public one.” Eren smiled slightly. “Armin loves it in here. He’s actually working on reading the whole thing before we graduate. Pretty damn close to doing it.”

“Really? Does that kid have a fucking life?”

“Not really. He’s not good in social situations.”

“Not many people are.”

Eren cocked his head, smiling slightly. He looked like a damn puppy. “You seem pretty confident.”

“I just don’t get uncomfortable easily. I have pretty fucking hard skin.”

“I can tell.” Eren pulled out a large binder and flipped through it. “Psychology is seriously sucking ass right now. Our teacher assigned us this huge project, bigger than what the AP students get. Fucking ridiculous…” He pulled out a sheet of paper. “As our final grade we must pick a person to study and write all these essays and such on it.”

“A person to study?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Like a relative, friend, or student here. We study their behavior. We have to create a speech, essay, short movie, and do a final analysis. I mean, we have the whole semester to do it but we have to present these in front of a panel of judges and the whole school. If I don’t get an A on this I’ll fail the class.”

“Pretty fucking big deal, isn’t it? You know who you want to study?”

He shook his head, looking at the paper exasperated, “Not a damn clue. I could use Mikasa or Armin but they said they won’t do it. They want me to choose someone I barely know so it would be more interesting for me.”

The suggestion was out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it. “What about me?”

Eren looked up at me, eyes wide with the idea but a little bit wary. “If I did that I would have to be around you a lot, film you even. I would probably annoy you.”

“Brat you already annoy me. I’m just making an offer. We barely fucking know each other anyway.”

A smile spread across his face. “You want to get to know each other?”

“Don’t go getting any ideas brat. I’m just trying to help you, which won’t happen often. Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it. Besides, everyone must be dying to know about the new kid.” He jumped out of his seat. “Thank so very much, Rivaille!” He darted off, probably to go tell Armin.

**  
**Oh god, what have I done? I’m getting in too deep with this kid. I just fucking lost my boyfriend, I should be upset and crying. I should be pissed off and beating up Erwin. But no. I just agreed to spend way more time than I ever intended to with that brat. And was I actually happy with that idea? I was. I was fucking ecstatic and it seemed Eren was also. Does the brat like me? Is he even gay? Probably not. He probably just wants a friend or is doing this to get a better grade. But there is something in his eyes and his body language when he’s around me that makes me question. His eyes are a little brighter, body more relaxed, a light blush was constantly dancing on his cheeks, and his personality was more open and free. And his voice was so innocent. He seemed so innocent, although he may not look it. Armin seemed more innocent then Eren but I knew that wasn’t true. Armin was with Erwin and that alone takes away your innocence. But the blondie was smart and inquisitive, always aware of what was going on around him. Eren on the other hand has this white glow to him that screamed “I’m a virgin!” to me. He was oblivious to everything and got flustered at the littlest things. That kid was fucking pure. Purer than fresh snow and I loved it. I wanted it. I wanted him.


	7. Words Regretted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 800 hits??!! And almost 60 kudos?! I love you guys so freaking much!   
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy <3

_3 weeks later_

“What is with you guys today?!” I shouted at all the dancers. “You’re all out of sync!”

“Eren calm down-”

“Shut it Faye!” I walked up and down the front of the room. “We don’t have much longer until Trost, 2 weeks in fact. Every other dance we have mastered but it seems you guys can’t do the damn group dance. Why is that?”

Lola cautiously stepped up. “Eren, it’s almost midnight on a Friday night. I think we’re all just tired. You’ve been working us to death.” Her voice was soft and calm, but did nothing for my anger and nerves. I was bone dog tired and my nerves were shot because of these people.

“I understand that, but we don’t have much time.” I rubbed my face.

“Eren,” This time it was Levi that stepped up, but unlike Lola he came right up to me. “Look at yourself in the mirror.”

“Wha-”

“Do it.” His voice came out in more of a command than a request.

I sighed and turned around, looking at myself in the wall mirror. My body sagged with exhaustion and my eyes had deep circles under them. Even my skin was paler from lack of sleep and eating. I’ve been focusing on school and the dance team for the past 3 weeks so I barely did anything other than those things.

“You’re all dismissed. No practice tomorrow or Sunday, be rested and prepared for Monday.” There was a collective “yes” from the group as they shuffled out of the room, going down to the locker rooms.

“Oi, brat. I need to talk to you.”

But of course Levi stayed. Over the past 3 weeks we’ve grown closer because of my Psychology project but we still had this gap between us. This empty space that we have no idea how to fill.

“Whatcha need?” I sat on the floor, back against the mirror. Levi sat next to me and stared at the wall across from us.

“You look like shit.” Well then.

“Um...what?”

“You heard me: you look like shit. Have you even fucking slept or eaten?”

“You’re turning into Mikasa.” I laughed slightly. “I’ve been fine, just stressed.”

“Why’re you stressed?” Here I go…

“I’ve been staying up late studying for finals, doing my Psychology project, working on this dance, researching colleges, helping my mom plan for Trost, and I’ve had Mikasa on my damn back because I’m spending so much time with you.” And the fact that I really like you doesn’t help.

“You’ve got a full plate brat.”

“And the thing is if our team competes in Sina and wins that is really fucking good on a college application. I have a scholarship I could be looking at.”

“Where do you want to go.”

“Where everyone wants to go: Rose University. A scholarship is the only way I could go.”

“Your dad can’t pay for it?”

I shook my head. “Nope. This is his way to get me to apply to college and work for it.”

“So brat, how do you fucking plan on getting a scholarship but you don’t dance on stage?” He glanced over at me. “I think you need to dance at Trost with us.”

“No way. I can’t do that.”

“Lola and I were talking and we think you should do the duet with me too.”

“I can’t!” I stood up.

“Why the fuck not?” He jumped up after me, blocking the door. “Why can’t you perform with us...with me?”

“Because I’m going to mess up. I’m not good enough to be on that stage.”

“For fucks sake Eren! You’re the best goddamn dancer in this room.” He pushed me back and walked over to the stereo, popping out the disc and putting in a new one.

“What’re you doing?”

Levi hit play on it and immediately “Bad Dog” came flowing out of the speakers. “Dance with me. Now.”

“But-”

“I fucking said dance with me.” I sighed and defeat and nodded, starting over the song and taking my position with him.

The beat came in and we started dancing in sync with each other, flowing together. I had to admit that we did make a great team. How we knew where we were going to move and how to move. About halfway we got closer to each other, really close. His hands moved up into my hair before I could stop him and he pulled me down, our foreheads touching and lips centimeters apart. We stared intensely into each other’s eyes. I noticed that once again his eye color when from stone grey to a light blue. They also had a startling amount of warmth in them, something I only saw from my mom or Armin. That’s when it hit me.

Levi liked me. Like really really liked me.

“I’ll do it. I’ll perform with you and the group.” A smirk spread across Levi’s face as he pulled back and went over to the stereo, turning it off.

“That’s what I thought. Come on brat, we need to get changed and go home. It’s way too fucking late.”

“Do you have a ride? Because I could drive you home...if you wanted.”

We walked down to the locker room and I pulled out my clothes.

“Sure. Sounds fucking stellar to be in a cramped space with your whiney ass.”

I smiled widely. “I know it does.” I stuffed my normal clothes into my gym bag. “I’ll just go home and change. I have to shower anyway.”

“You really do. You smell like shit.”

“Thanks for the honesty.” I laughed and grabbed my car keys. “We should get going. It’s almost 1am and Mikasa is probably going to kill me.”

“Most likely.” Levi glanced up at the clock we had. “Actually, would you mind if I spent the night at your place?”

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m fucking sure. My damn parents will chew me up and spit me out for coming home before Lucifer himself is awake.”

“Okay then, but be warned Mikasa will question you thoroughly.” We walked of the studio and I set the alarm, locking up the doors. I lead us over to the car Mikasa and I shared. It was a Nissan, which I wasn’t a huge fan of. But what are you going to do? My only concern was the fact that when we opened our doors we were greeted with the biggest pile of trash. It’s been a while since we’ve used the poor thing.

“This is a fucking mess.” I threw my bag in the backseat along with Levi’s and sat in the driver’s seat.

“I haven’t driven in it since school started so it’s all Mikasa’s doing.” I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and down the empty, dark road.

“A mess like this had to be started before the fucking dinosaurs.” He mumbled, pulling out his phone. “Fucking four-eyes…”

“Hanji bothering you?”

“As always. Not a damn day goes by that she doesn’t.”

“Why is she even up?” We came to a stop at a red light.

“Because she’s a fucking maniac.” Levi tapped a response to whatever text the brunette sent him. The light turned green again.

“What’re you guys talking about?”

“Do you ever shut your goddamn mouth?”

“Not around you.” I smiled and pulled into my neighborhood. Armin also lived here but he drove to school everyday.

“We’re talking about her boyfriend’s dick size.” He executed that with such a straight that I almost choked on the air.

“What?!”

“I’m joking brat. Hanji is too fucking annoying for anyone to like her.”

“Who jokes about that?”

He looked up from his phone and stared at me. “Don’t your incompetent friends ever make dick jokes? Because if not I have questions as to why.”

“I mean, Jean does and sometimes Connie but besides that, not really.”

“Well then. You’ll be hearing a lot of shit from me, English and French.”

I laughed and pulled into my driveway, parking my car behind my mom’s van. “Looking forward to it.”

We grabbed our stuff out of the backseat and I locked up the car. “Be quiet. My dad might be working or maybe sleeping.” I started unlocking the door.

“What’s your dad fucking do?”

“He’s a doctor. Runs the local hospital and is the head doctor.” I opened the door and lead him in.

“What the hell Eren!” Mikasa stormed off the couch and over to us, clearly enraged.

I slipped past her, pulling Levi along with me, into our large living living room. We obviously lived a very comfortable life because of my father’s large success and mother’s amazing business. Our house was a large and had two stories. The main floor just had a fairly large kitchen with top grade appliances (which I really don’t know why because I’m the only one who cooks), a connected dining room with a small oak table (also don’t know why because we never eat as a family), a small half bathroom, and a living room. Now our living room was definitely designed by my mother. It was simple yet elegant, just like her. The only mistake she made was having white furniture.

“Eren! Why is he here?” Mikasa slammed the door shut and stalked over to us, Levi being her prey.

“Mikasa-”

“He shouldn’t be here at almost 1am!” I collapsed onto the couch, already feeling mentally exhausted. I could feel an argument building up.

“Mikasa he’s here-”

“It’s completely inappropriate! I mean-”

“Mikasa! Shut the fuck up!” I snapped at her. “Give me a damn chance to explain.”

Both her and Levi looked at me, Mikasa clearly shocked and Levi had a surprised glint in his eyes.

“He’s here because it’s really late and he’d get chewed out by his parents if he came home so late. I was helping him out.” My voice had a vicious bite to it that I’d never used with her. It sounded so… Levi.

“Eren,” She cautiously sat down next to me only to have me push her away. I was so irritated and done with her shit.

“Don’t you ‘Eren’ me! I’m sick of your overprotective bullshit. Ever since you’ve been adopted into this family you’ve been that way, but it got ten times worse after 8th grade. You’ve been smothering me like I’m some kind of injured kitten. I’m not! I can take care of myself. Have you ever thought that the reason why I’m so reserved is because you don’t let me make my own choices?!” Oh no. I hit a nerve in her. But I didn’t care. I was pissed and she needed to hear it.

“Eren-”

“Stop!” I stood up. “Don’t say that ‘you’re sorry’ or ‘didn’t mean to’ because you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew you were smothering me and holding me back. Guess what: I’m not your parents! I won’t die because you aren’t watching me.”

Tears were forming in her eyes. I was hitting all kinds of nerves I shouldn’t have been hitting but it didn’t matter to me. All that mattered was me being angry and a target to take it out on.

“Eren, listen. I do it because you need to be protected.”

“No I don’t! So stop saying I do.”

“You really do.”

“No I don’t!” I repeated, anger rising further. The next words that came out were pretty much a product of that anger. “I wish we never adopted you!”

The shock crackled through the room like electricity. I made the wrong move.

“EREN JAEGER!” Shit shit shit!

Stomping down the stairs was my mother, and she was livid. Her face was tomato red.

“You’re so damn lucky your father is at the hospital or I swear to gods mister you’d be in bigger trouble. You don’t say that!” My mom only curses when she’s mad, like now. “I heard every word and I figured it was just you standing up for yourself, but that last line was way uncalled for!” Suddenly she calmed down and a flash ran across her eyes. “Have you eaten or taken your medication?”

“Can we not bring that up right now.” I sighed. “I just need to sleep. Levi,” I pointed to him and my mother had a look of just now knowing of his presence. “Is staying the night.” I picked up my bag and lead Levi up the stairs and into my, thankfully clean, room.

“What the hell was all that about?” I shut the door and flung my bag to the side.

“Which part?” I asked bitterly.

“Fucking all of it. The yelling and what your mom said about eating and medication.”

I flopped onto my bed and Levi sat next to me. “I don’t know. I just snapped at her. Too much stress makes me do that but never to that extent. And about what my mom said...don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to not worry about it. I asked the damn question so answer it.”

“Fine. I was born with a medical condition where my stomach and brain aren’t, like, connected. I never know when I’m hungry or when I’m full. So I mainly eat at home where my dad or mom portion control me. One time in 6th grade I passed out from low blood sugar.” I paused for a second. “And the medication is for my anger problems. Keeps me under control.”

“So if you don’t take your crazy meds you go Hulk mad? Fucking fabulous.” I burst into laughter and he glared over at me. “What’s so damn funny?”

“Nothing. I just never thought you’d ever say the word fabulous.” My laughter tapered off and I sighed, my mood darkening. “I shouldn’t have gotten that mad at her and say those things.”

“In my opinion she needed to hear them. The last part was a dick move but for the most part she needed to hear what you had to say.” He paused for a beat. “Why did you say it?”

“Because I get stupid. But never have I yelled at Mikasa like that.” I looked over at him. He was staring at me intently, his gray eyes calculating. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why not?” I saw a conflict in his eyes, as if torn between two things. In the four weeks I’ve known I have never that amount emotion in him. What’s wrong with him?

“Why not what?”

“Why not look at you?” My brain went fuzzy as I tried to process his words.

“I don’t understand…”

“Of course you don’t, you brat. You probably never will.” There was a brief flash of sadness before replaced by the normal cold. “Where’s your bathroom? I need a fucking shower.”


	8. Heart to Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. With school and all I get busy but I hope you like it. Also, I'm loving all the feedback from you guys. It gives me life beyond compare. Enjoy <3
> 
> Tumblr: attackonsarah.tumblr.com

I sent Levi to our small bathroom for him to take his shower. The guy had some kind of obsession with being clean that I just didn’t understand, but it sure was a great addition to my project. Over the past 3 weeks of working with Levi he turned out to be much different than his hardass exterior. I mean, he was still a hardass but he was different around me. There was this soft side that he saved for me. It wasn’t overtly noticeable but I saw it.

He was also the perfect person to study for psychology. My project was almost done and all I need now is the video. The problem with that is he won’t let me film him or take pictures of him in the slightest. He gets all pissy with me and threatens me in the most creative and crude ways. Like really, holy shit. And even when I try to explain it was for my damn grade he still refused. Like he had some kind of personal vendetta against such things.

I changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, of the clean kind, and laid on my bed. There was a knock on my door. “Eren,” My door opened and my mom stepped in. “We need to talk about what you said earlier.”

I sat up and sighed, patting the empty space beside me. She came over and sat next to me. “Why did you say all those things to your sister?”

“I don’t know,” I rubbed my face and ran a hand through my messy hair. “I was just so irritated and all the stress from these past few weeks just bubbled over. Mikasa just happened to be on the other end of it.”

“I haven’t seen you act like that for years.” She rubbed my back. “Did you mean all that you said?”

I hesitated before answering. “Some of it. But not the last part at all.”

“I know honey.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I felt like a little kid again. “Would it also have something to do with liking Levi?”

“What?!” I stared at her. “I don’t-”

“Yes you do. I can see it every time you look at each other.” She looked down at me. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“You do?”

“Yeah....I really do. He looks at you in a way that you only see once in a lifetime. There’s love in it. Pure love. I don’t think Grisha ever looked at me that way.” She held me closer. “You two have a connection.” She smiled. “I can see the red string.”

“The red string?”

“The red string of fate. Every person had a thin red string tied on their finger and it’s connected to another person. It is said to lead you to the one you belong to.”

“Mom that’s great and all, but you’re wrong.”

“Am I? Or am I only wrong because of your father?” I fell silent and looked out my door, listening to the faint sound of the shower. There was one thing that no one knew about the great doctor Grisha Jaeger: he hated gays. He saw them as evil and a defect on the planet. That’s why he doesn’t know Armin is one or we could never hang out. I’ve heard him go on his rants against them. About the violent acts he’d do to them. Mr. Jaeger showed no mercy with them. He was raised in a homophobic household, so when I figured out I liked dick and not vagina I was pretty much terrified for my life. But Mikasa and my mother kept it a secret. “You can’t be afraid of loving someone because of your father’s personal beliefs.”

“Mom,” I looked up at her. “I’m scared to like him. I know he likes me because we’ve had these moments together where it’s like it’s only us. For heaven's sake he’s getting me to dance at Trost and do the duet with him instead of Lola.”

“Really?! That’s great!” She smiled brightly.

“It sounds great but then I thought ‘What else can he get me to do?’.”

“He could get you back to your normal self. Back to the Eren we all knew.” She sighed. “I miss that Eren.”

“I don’t remember that Eren.” My mom leaned down and kissed my forehead before pulling away from me and standing up.

“Yes you do. You just don’t realize it.” She smiled and walked out my room, leaving me alone. She was right. I did love Levi and I do want to be with him. And even though my mom and Mikasa would keep it a secret I’m not so sure about anyone at school. My friends, for lack of better explanation, are blabber mouths. They can’t keep a secret even if their lives depended on it. They once ratted me out for stealing someone’s lunch box in 5th grade. 5th grade! And guess who’s lunchbox it was? Mikasa’s. She knew I would have anyway but they all went and told the teacher, getting me in return “lunch detention”, which basically translated to eating with my teacher and suffering. Yeah...my friend’s are assholes.

“Oi, brat!” I looked to my door and saw Levi walk in and close the door. Wow. Like really...wow. He was naked with only a towel around his waist...and he was wet. Just holy hell. “Can I borrow a clean shirt and sweatpants?”

Through my fuzzy mind I nodded and stood up. “Y-Yeah…” I opened my dresser and pulled out a pair of black sweatpants and a grey shirt. I turned to give them to him but paused. “This are too big for you.” He snatched the clothes from me.

“I can deal.” He left for a few minutes and came back in. He looked absolutely adorable. My sweatpants hung loosely off, what I presume to be, his hips and they went past his feet. The shirt also hung off his shoulders and went down to about mid-thigh. But somehow his hair was perfect, split straight down the middle as always. “What’re you looking at brat?”

“Nothing!” Shit. I said that way too quickly.

A smirked crossed his face. “You’re a terrible liar Jaeger.”

“I wasn’t lying!” My face turned red.

“Yeah you are.” He dug through his bag and pulled out his phone. “You should probably get some sleep.”

“What about you?” I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 3am.

“Mind your own fucking business and sleep.” He sat on my floor against the wall and started tapping away on his phone. “And don’t try and argue with me because I’ll steal your car, go to the store, come back, and chloroform your ass.”

“Can’t argue with that now can I?” I laughed and crawled under my heavy blanket. “Night.” Before I fully fell asleep I heard Levi’s voice. It had something to the effect of “Shut up brat.”

* * *

_Levi_

That goddamn kid. Goddamn sonofabitch kid. Why him? Of all the annoying ass people I could fall for it had to be him. I look at his goofy ass face as I can’t help but love it. But there is another conflict. Erwin.

Erwin has avoided everyone like the plague. He sits alone. Drives alone. Is just...alone. The big blonde menace is never one to be alone. He’s too damn social to be a loner. But I know his tactics. He’s going to make himself seem disconnected and away from us. Give us space. Then he’s going to move right back in on Armin. And that’s what pisses me off even more. That even though I love that damn brat but I also still love Erwin and I can’t let myself go of him.

I glanced over at Eren and the sight nearly took my breath away. He was so stunning when he slept. The faint moonlight glow illuminated his face. His eyelashes seemed even longer and his pink lips all the more kissable. The brat had a certain feminine quality about him that was adorable as fuck. That damn brat.  


	9. Death and Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chappie my lovelies! This one took me a while but I finally did it. So proud of myself. Anyway enjoy this chapter.   
> *Warning: sadness ahead*
> 
> Tumblr: attackonsarah  
> 2nd Tumblr: attack-on-au

“Eren! Eren wake up!” I felt myself be shaken furiously, urgently. I groaned and swatted the person away. That’s when a sharp sting went across my face. My sleep hazed mind was snapped out of it from the sudden slap. I sat up.

“What the fuck?!” I was about to do some serious cursing when I saw Levi with his hands on my shoulders, an urgent look in his eyes. Mikasa was standing behind him, tears in her eyes. What was going on? “What’s wrong? What time is it?”

“Eren, I need you to listen to me.” Levi was talking to me cautiously, like one might do to a cornered animal. “Something happened to your mother.”

I leaped from my bed, pushing Levi away from me. “What happened?! Where is she? Is she okay?” I started for the door but Levi grabbed my arm firmly. preventing me from moving further. He nodded at Mikasa, who stood in front of me.

“Dad called. He said mom got into a car accident-”

“Then she must be at the hospital!. We have to go!” I tried yanking myself from the iron grip on my arm but I didn’t move.

“No...Eren mom is…” Tears choked her words but she kept them from shedding. “Dead. She was hit by a drunk driver. They were both killed.”

I felt the floor come out beneath me and I collapsed to the floor. She was gone. Dead. No coming back. I should be crying. Why aren’t I crying? All I feel is dull sadness. Should I be feeling this? I had a faint cognizance that someone was saying my name but I didn’t care. My mother was dead. The one person that understood me, no matter what. Who stood by me, no matter what. Who supported me, no matter what. Never to return. I won’t be able to see her dance anymore. To walk into the studio after a bad day and see her warm face that instantly cheered me up.

“Why was she out so late?” I asked quietly, barely conscious of what I was saying.

“She was going to the hospital to talk to dad about something.”

I buried my head in my hands, my fingers lacing through my hair and pulling tightly. Why wasn’t I feeling anything? “What about the studio?”

“I don’t know. It’s up to dad now.”

“Where is that bastard? Why isn’t he with us?”

“He’s at the hospital, dealing with paperwork and such about mom. He just called to tell us.” I felt a hand go on my back and a body lean next to me. I didn’t even see who it was before I went in their arms. I didn’t care who it was, as long as it was someone. “You need to get away from him.” I heard Mikasa growl. So Levi was the one holding me.

“No, you need to get away.” I looked up and saw the scene. Levi with his arms, almost protectively and possessively, around me and Mikasa had a dense stance to her, mama bear.

“You don’t know what he’s going through right now.”

“Like hell I fucking don’t. Contrary to your shitty personal beliefs I have lost people also.” He started stroking my hair. This behavior was odd for him. So very out of character. He mumbled something in French that I couldn’t make out.

“Sure you did. What did you lose? Your dog?”

“It’s none of your damn business, but I would’ve thought you would be fucking smart enough to figure it out. But I guess I was overestimating your deductive reasoning skills.”

“Can you stop being an asshole for two seconds? Eren needs someone close to him who understands him. Of which you are neither. So get your filthy hands off him before I-”

“Mikasa stop.” I glared at her. “Levi does understand. I know that you do too but can you just go call Armin? He needs to know. He’s probably awake.” Mikasa was about to protest when I gave her a pleading look, one of which said “I’m emotionally distressed and need you to do this one simple fucking thing without arguing with me”. She listened, leaving my room and slamming the door shut. “I’m sorry. She’s so used to being the person to comfort me, well besides mom…” I took a shaky breath. “Why can’t I cry?”

“Because you’re in shock. Your mind is trying to catch up with what just happened, trying to make sense of it all. It’s normal.”

“But most people cry right after they find out someone they love died.”

“I’m going to tell you something, but fucking open your mouth and I’ll kill you. Understood?” Even though I knew he wouldn’t really kill me I nodded anyway. “When my father and I got the call that my mother had died my father cried. I didn’t. I was six.”

“What did she die of?”

“Cancer.” He looked off at my door. “When I was eight I came home from school and found my father dead on the kitchen floor. Alcohol poisoning. I didn’t cry then either.”

“Do you miss them?”

“My father, not so much. But my mother I miss more than anything. I have a locket that used to be hers-” He stopped talking abruptly.

“It’s fine.” I pried myself from his arms and stood up. “I’ll be right back.” I left my room and went across the hallway into my parent’s, well dad’s, room. Everything reminded me of her. The furniture, paint, even the lighting. She designed this room with everything she loved in mind. I sat down on the large king-sized bed and grabbed my mother’s favorite blue pillow. I held it in my arms and buried my face in it, inhaling the smell of my now deceased mother. It was comforting yet upsetting. But I wasn’t here to smell pillows, I wanted to find it. I put down the pillow and walked over to the oak wood dresser, opening up her jewelry box. In it I pulled out a leather-cord bracelet. Stringed on it were two beads, a teal one and a green one. My mother made it to represent me when I was born. She wore this everyday. She told me the reason one was teal and one was green is because when I’m normal my eyes are the teal but when I get too sad my eyes turn green. I never understood why she wanted to be reminded of when I was sad.

**  
**I tied the cord around my wrist and held it close to me. In this moment it was as if I could feel her behind me, hand on my shoulder and telling me it will all be alright. Telling me that life will go on and things will change. I have to remember that. For if I don’t, I’ll surely go mad.


	10. I've Been There Before

“Eren, you have to get up. You haven’t been to school in over a week and the school called. You’re so behind on all of your work.” Mikasa sat on the edge of my dirty bed, looking empathetic.

 

Ever since we got the news that my mother died I have refused to even leave my room or my bed. I’ve barely eaten or slept, listening to the dull sounds of my sister and my phone occasionally going off with a text or a ring, most likely from my concerned friends. I’ve refused to talk to anybody, I even turned away Levi. I just wanted to be alone and it seems no one understands that.

 

I have lost my mother. My best friend (besides Armin). And it’s as if everyone thinks I can go back to normal after such a large tragic event just struck through my heart. I remember Armin explaining to me how he felt after his parents died. He was only four when it happened but even to this day he cries over it, longing to see his parents. He tells me he will wake up some mornings expecting for them to be there but it’s only his grandfather. You would've never thought something so terrible would have happened to such a happy guy. But I guess that’s the real world for you.

 

“Eren please… Everyone wants to make sure you’re alright. Armin wants to talk to you. Can you at least do that? He says you don’t even have to talk. He just wants to tell you some stuff.”

 

How could Mikasa be so normal about all this? She acts as if our mother didn't just die last week. Is she already used to this kind of gnawing grief? From her parents dying? Is this something you can just get used to? Like new shoes or a new house? An entire part of my life just died and she’s acting like nothing even happened!  

 

But instead of screaming at her like I wanted to I just nodded to her.

 

“Perfect, because Armin is outside of your door right now. Have fun talking to him.”

 

I felt her rise from the bed and heard the creak of the door opening before the soft footsteps of another person, Armin, walking in and closing the door behind him. I rolled over and sat up so I could see him entirely. He looked like normal old Armin and I most likely look like a Walking Dead extra.

 

“Hey Eren,” He sat on the bed next to me, smiling brightly. “Nice to see you’re still alive. I mean, you’re alive but it doesn't mean you’re _alive_. You know what I mean?”

 

Oddly enough, I really did understand what he meant by that. So I nodded my head slowly.

 

“Yeah, I know how it feels. It’s been so many years since my parents died. But guess what? It gets easier. I mean, you’ll have good days and you’ll have bad days. Just come and talk to me whenever you need. I’m here for you Eren.”

 

I nodded and brought Armin into a hug. What would I do without him?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's been so busy lately with school and everything else that life throws at you. Also, this chapter was short and I deeply apologize! Love you all!
> 
> Tumblr: attackonsarah


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